Father?
by MakotoAce
Summary: It's been a year since Flint shut down his machine. He decides to fix it, but when he finds it in a box, reactivated with a personality change, he finds something... stranger than that. Rated T for some swear words. [Terrible cover art by me]
1. Chapter 1 - What's in the Box?

_A/N: This is one of my other fanfics (all are wips btw, but I'm working on this one bc it's the shortest (I think)) and this is my second-most-recent fanfic. I don't know how things work on this site (yet). This one is sorta short for now and I won't update it much because of he- I mean school._

 _Also I was going to name this "Daddy" but... that would sound... inappropriate._

 _This is an AU, where the FLDSMDFR can talk. Also this is in Flint's POV..._

* * *

 **Chapter 1 [2.13.10]**

I picked up the last box. It was very heavy, for some odd reason.

"I have too many boxes!" I groaned as I carried the box to the table, where the other parts were.

I planned to repair and reprogram my machine, a machine that turns water into food using microwave radiation. It got overloaded and nearly destroyed the world. If my father hadn't sent me the Kill Code, I wouldn't be here right now.

I set the box on the table with the others. Suddenly, the box started moving. It rolled itself off the table and onto the floor. It froze, then moved again; it landed right at my feet. I bent down to the box, which decided to stop moving as soon as it hit my feet, and opened it. Inside was the FLDSMDFR. It was no longer black and red like I last saw it; it was its original colors, white and orange. It looked at me in a strange way and said, "Daddy?"

I was shocked. I never programmed it to speak anything other than food names. The fact that it said "daddy?" made me even more worried.

"Daddy?" It asked again.

 _May as well figure out what it needs,_ I thought to myself, half gingerly, half annoyed.

I touched it. It was freezing cold. No, more than that; it was -273 degrees Kelvin! I took one of my blankets off the bed and wrapped the machine in the blanket. I then found a random shoe box and put a pillow in it. I put the machine in the box; it purred in response.

I slumped down onto my bed and groaned an "ugh!" Then, my machine stood on top of my stomach and asked inquisitively, "Daddy hurt?"

"No," I responded. "Just a little bit tired."

"Why?" It asked.

"I lifted heavy stuff," I said, starting to get annoyed.

"Why?"

"Because metal is heavy."

"Why?"

I gave it a sharp glare, hoping it would get the hint to shut up, but it asked again, "Why?"

"I don't know! How is water wet?!" I snapped at the machine, who was in deep thought. It hesitated for a moment, went over to my desk and knocked a stack of letters off my desk. "Paper," It said joyfully. "Paper!"

I groaned. "Yes, that's paper. Please don't destroy my lab."

It proceed to knock more paper off of my desk, every so often screaming "Paper!"

It still is doing that now, as I write here.

Book that can't tell me anything, tell me how I'm to cope with this machine that's turning into this metal version of Steve?


	2. Chapter 2 - Valentine's Day

**Chapter 2 [2.14.10]**

I woke up at 6:00am and glanced at my calendar.

 _Oh shit!_

It's Valentine's day! I totally forgot to get something for Sam! I jumped out of bed, only to be greeted by back pain. I let out a very loud screech of, "OUCH!", then rubbed my back.

As if it was a signal, the FLDSMDFR came out of **nowhere** screaming, "Daddy!" It tackled me to the ground, scurrying all over my stomach, making me snort.

"I'm fine! Daddy's fine!" I (tried to) soothe it through hiccups of laughter. "I'm just in a tiny bit of pain!" I stood up, only to trip over the shoe box I made for it earlier. It then exclaimed, "You fell!"

"Noooo?" I said sarcastically and got up, only to hear, "Welcome Flint."

I grabbed the can of Spray-on-Shoes I keep at the side of my bed and went towards the door. I saw Dad, carrying some eggs and toast.

"Oh... mornin' skipper," He said awkwardly. As he did, the machine flew over to Dad screaming, "Stay away from my daddy!"

Dad lifted his monobrow. "You reactivated that thing?!"

"No!" I shrieked. "It reactivated itself! I only want to fix it while it was off!"

He stared at me, as if he didn't believe me or understand. So I continiued, "It somehow had a complete personality change, too! It wanted to kill me, and now it's overprotective! Its color changed, too! It was black and red in the Meat-a-roid, but now its original colors!"

Dad no longer looked angry, he looked more astonished. "You have some real talent son," He said, "to let alone make a machine that turns water into food, then have it reprogram itself, and even change its color!"

I facepalmed and slumped to the floor. Of course, the machine went to my side and said, "Daddy hurt?"

My dad dropped the plate and his jaw dropped. "It can **talk** too?!"

I stood up, walked over to my computer desk, and banged my head on it. The fact that it was valentine's day stressed me out enough, now I had my annoying toddler-like machine and my dad to deal with.

"Careful, Flint," My dad tried to comfort me. "You don't want to hurt yourself."

I inhaled, then let out a very loud groan. Everything went black after that...

* * *

When I woke up, I was still at my desk, but Dad was holding me. I looked at him.

"Are ya' okay, son?" Dad asked as I looked for the FLDSMDFR, which was under Dad's arm. I guess Dad was trying to keep it away from me. "Son?" He asked again when I didn't respond.

"Sure." I said, getting up. I took my wallet (which had only about $20 in it), put on my lab coat, and went out the door.

"Where are you going, son?" Dad was asking too many questions.

"I have to get something for Sam," I said, "It's Valentine's day."

"Oh ok," He responded. "Want me to watch your lab for you?"

I sighed. I think we both knew that when Dad said 'the lab', he meant 'the machine.' "Sure," I said.

 **...**

I went to the nearby store and picked up some roses and a chocolate heart for Sam. Little did I know, that after I paid for everything, she was _right outside the door._

"Hi, Flint!" She exclaimed when I stepped out of the store. I screamed and dropped the stuff I bought. I looked down at it sadly. Sam picked it up and said, "Thanks, you're so sweet!"

I felt myself turn as red as a tomato. Sam giggled and asked, "I was wondering if we could hang out in your lab... so, can we?"

"Uh..." I hesitated. Dad and the FLDSMDFR were in my lab. Dad was mad enough that the machine was reactivated, how would Sam react? Or worse, how would she react when she sees the machine could talk? "Sure."

"Ok!" Sam said as she tugged my arm to my lab.

When we got in the lab, paper was **everywhere**. I saw Dad buried in paper; he looked tired.

"Whoa," Sam said when she saw the place. "What happened here?"

Dad growled, "That tin can over there happened! As soon as you left, Flint, it landed on a stack of paper next to me. I looked at and tried to talk to it, but it exclaimed 'paper!' and knocked it off your desk. I put it back up there and told it to not do that, but it saw this as a game and knocked **all** the paper off of your desk. At this point I was **pissed**. I chased it around your lab, then slipped on a bunch of paper, scattering it everywhere. It then went into hiding."

Sam was trying hard not to burst into laughter while Dad told this story. I was beyond angry, if anything. " ** _FLDSMDFR!_** " I called. It appeared out of nowhere and tackled me again, screaming "Daddy!" happily, and multiple times.

Sam couldn't hold it in anymore. She burst into laughter. But I couldn't take it anymore either. I grabbed the machine, put it in its shoe box, put the lid on it, and slumped into bed. "It's only 4:00pm, Flint!" Sam called, still laughing.

"I don't give a fuck!" I screamed back, then drifted into sleep, ignoring the FLDSMDFR's calls of, "Daddy?"


	3. Chapter 3 - Don't Piss Off the FLDSMDFR

**Chapter 3 [2.15.10]**

I woke up to the smell of pancake. I opened my eyes and saw a huge pancake on top of me. I screamed, then remembered the FLDSMDFR, who was right on my chest. Of course, it says, "Daddy?" I was getting tired of it calling me "daddy", so I told it to call me "Flint."

It didn't understand. "Daddy! Daddy!"

"Do you speak English?!" I screamed. "Hablas Espanol!?"

"What?" It said.

I glared at it. It repeated itself, "What?"

Near my computer, Sam was trying her hardest to not snort in laughter. I gave her a sharp glare, but that made her worse. I took the FLDSMDFR off of my chest and put it beside me.

Of course _now_ it decided to call me by my first name. "Flint?"

"Oh **now** you get it?!" I yelled. Sam was busting a gut at my computer desk. I got out of bed and stomped to her. "Shut up," I said sternly.

That just made her laugh harder. On my shoulder I felt a tap. My machine was there, inquiring, "Flint hungry?"

"HUNGRY!" Steve screamed from across the lab. He took the pancake off of my bed and ran across my lab with it. My machine let out an angry hiss, then chased after Steve.

I snickered. It was hilarious to watch a monkey run with a huge pancake, with a machine chasing after him.

Eventually I started busting a gut with Sam. My machine noticed and threw a giant egg at me and a giant toast at Sam, which made us laugh harder.

That's how the rest of our day went; running around our lab trying to stop being murdered by my machine.

* * *

 _A/N: I might write one or two more chapters, because I want to upload my other fanfics. My next one may be the darker ending one..._


	4. Chapter 4 - The FLDSMDFR's Birthday

_A/N: Final chapter. Sorry that this fanfic is short, but I want to upload my darker ending one._

* * *

 **Chapter 4 [a few months later...]**

I'm going to sound stupid saying this, but I grounded my machine. Wanna know why?

It started towards the beginning of March. It was going around my lab, screaming "Paper!" over and over again. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

 **Wrong.** Very, very **wrong**. It started going crazy and throwing food around my lab, upsetting Steve to no end. It took me forever to calm them down, and when I did, the FLDSMDFR hit Steve on the head with an egg.

Steve fell unconscious. When I worried about him I screamed "you're grounded!" at the top of my lungs, making me lightheaded. It then literally said, yes **told me** flat out, "Catch me if you can, bitch."

It went out the window and onto the **street** , and almost killed someone while I chased after it. When I did catch it, it cut my wrist, making blood run down my arm and into my lab coat. I gave it the Kill Code (temporarily) and repaired it. I then went to the hospital to get my wrist looked at, only to figure out that one of my bones got dislocated, and I needed surgery to correct it. It cost $900 for the surgery itself, and about $125 for the pills I had to take.

After I recovered, I reactivated the machine, which said, "I'm sorry Flint daddy."

I responded, "It's fine, but you're still grounded."

I grounded it for about 3 months (its punishment was not being able to make anything or move in my lab), then stopped because today, June 8th 2010, is its birthday.

I went down to the store and bought some party hats, a chocolate cake (with no peanut butter in it), some balloons, and other party supplies. I then called Dad, Brent, Manny, Sam, Steve, and Earl and told them what I wanted them to do.

"Steve!" I yelled as I pointed at the monkey. "Keep the FLDSMDFR busy!"

"Paper!" He yelled and ran into my lab. He took a bunch of paper and lured the machine into the house. _Perfect!_

I told everyone else to set up decorations and gifts; stuff like that. In the middle of preparing, I realized my gift was in Dad's room... where the FLDSMDFR and Steve are.

"Don't worry Flint," My dad soothed, "It'll turn out fine."

"That's not what I'm worried about," I said. "I'm worried because I left my gift in your room."

"Oh," My dad responded, then held it up, "I grabbed it at the last second."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I put the gift (wrapped in orange and white paper) on the table with the cake.

 **Two hours later...**

It was finally finished. We did good, except for Sam spelling "FLDSMDFR" wrong. She wrote it as "FLDSIMDFR". I pointed it out, and she tried to drench the M over the I. Now it just looked messy more than anything.

I told everyone to hide. I turned off the lights and went to the house.

There was paper all over the floor, which I expected. The FLDSMDFR was staring at Steve, who was sleeping on a piece of paper.

"Flint daddy?" It asked.

"STEVE!" Steve shrieked, startled.

I snorted in amusement, then turned to the FLDSMDFR. "We have a surprise for you in the lab."

"Souprize?" It asked.

"Yes!" I responded, then turned to Steve. I gave him a tiny gummy bear. "Good monkey."

I told the machine to follow me, and it did, Steve following behind.

Before we entered the lab, I explained excitedly, "A year ago this day, I invented you. I wired you, built you, and painted you. I figured we'd celebrate that..." With that being said, I flicked on the lights, and everyone jumped out screaming, "SURPRISE!"

The machine stared for a moment, then noticed the gift. Brent (who was under the table, thus being closer to it) patted it and said, "Who's the birthday girl?"

I got enraged immediately. This is something Brent and I have been arguing about lately. I gave my machine no gender, but a male voice. Brent sees it as a female, merely because it has a hole in the bottom.

I walked over to the cake and picked up the knife. Before I cut the cake, I said sternly, "Say my machine is a girl again, and this will be in your chest."

Brent shut up immediately and watched me cut the cake.

The machine was guarding its gift. It seemed more interested in standing on it than opening it.

"Do ya want me to open that for you?" I asked.

It looked down on the gift, then said, "Yes."

I opened the gift, revealing a picture of me covered in white paint, with the machine next to me, painted, built, and wired. "This is just before I powered you up," I said.

"I'M IN IT!" It shrieked excitedly, then tackled me to the ground. "I LOVE YOU FLINT DADDY!"

I wrapped my arms around it and said, "I love you too."

* * *

 _A/N: While writing this and looking over my other fanfics, I've decided what I want to upload next. I'll upload "CWACOM Darker Ending" (that's seriously its name) after this one, then "How [not] to Cope with Depression", because if I upload those two next to each other, It'll make more since, especially since both of them are dark fanfics._

 _Also, I have no evidence that June 8th is when the FLDSMDFR was invented, it's a random date I made up (actually I think it's my grandfather's birthday)._


End file.
